If asked how to put depression into my own words; it would be this; with depression; you don’t see what’s around you. One day it’s summer and the next it’s winter and you ask yourself how the hell did I get here? I don’t remember fall. It’s a painful wandering of the mind that paralyzes the body. You sit with depression for what seems like an hour to only find out its been two months but all at the same time it feels like an eternity, you lose all concept of time. You question every thing you’ve ever done and allow your mind to torture you with petty indiscretions that nobody remembers. The worst part is you know it’s all in your head but you cannot stop it. You’re a slave to the darkness that consumes your mind. It’s only in moments of clarity that you awake from the painful slumber to realize you hate your life and then the cycle of unhappy thoughts take over once again. You watch, you cry, and you scream as your life passes you by. You care but can never find the energy to care enough. It’s a unnecessary torture that one alone can only stop with help and advice from some stranger who sits in a chair and meets with you once a week or the poison in a bottle that they tell you is supposed to help. Depression can be stopped but it’s not as easy as one may think. It’s like trying to win a war with only wooden weapons against an army with heavy artillery Not impossible but extremely difficult. So in my own words again I say depression; is a painful paralytic that destroys our minds.
-mac ♥
inside my anxiety 